Spirtual Health

Hallelujah he can speak!  His voice started returning yesterday but this morning the phone rang I heard loud and clear "ITS ABOUT TIME!"  Yep his voice is back and I have mixed emotions about it. R asked for his laptop so he could get some work done while he's just sitting around. So he is now behind the laptop screen answering emails, working on a project and cursing quietly under his breath.  Oh yeah his voice is back loud and clear. God answers prayers.

We are still waiting in the urologist but our nurse, Angela is calling to check on the consult.  The nurses have been wonderful. Angela is the day nurse. Her smile is as big as the room. She walks in with a plan in her step and then when finished with her task she always takes the time to strike up a conversation. All of them have taken the time to get to know us and show they care. Yesterday my friend Molly who teaching the Health Science classes at Creek was here with her wonderful students. Several came in from time to time to check on Richard. Some recognized me or our name and would look for a minute. And then say do I know you?  These kids were freshmen or sophomores when I left Creek. It was so nice to talk to high school kids about their day and their future. 

Today a student nurse from San Jac was here. Her instructor came in and spoke to us. I knew she was demonstrating to her young student how to access a patient by just talking and getting to know them. We ended up talking about our lives and religions which led to the difference between spirituality and religion. During this particular time I took the opportunity to tell them a small part of our experience with the doctors and nurses when Jenna was born. Many of you know I take the opportunity to talk about Jenna every chance I get. 

In April of 1993 I was 21 weeks along in a high risk pregnancy with our daughter Jenna. At the time we didn't know if we were having a boy or girl; most of all we didn't know how this tiny little being would change our lives forever. I had just felt her move the week before. That first time is suppose to feel like bubbles or butterflies fluttering through your belly. Not Jenna. I was driving to work and felt a twist and twirl and then she bore down like she was bearing down head first trying to break through a wall.  

The following week I started running a high fever. Between the obstetrician and primary care physician they decided I had a virus and just needed to rest. By Friday of that week I had had enough of and went to see the ob. He did an exam and listened to the heart beat and sent me home to rest. After waking up from a nap I began to hemorrhage. Scared and confused my neighbor called for an ambulance. 

Once hospitalized a nice young neonatologist came to visit. He was dressed perfectly. In dark slacks and a lavender starched shirt, purple tie, socks and turban. His beard was well manicured and he had a sparkling white smile. He came in my room and I immediately knew I would like him. He began explaining our situation. He defined the risks in having a premature baby but also gave us info on the hospitalization and carrying the baby to term. The medications would be horrible and I would lie on my back or left side for the next 15-20 weeks. He also gave us statistics on survival rates of babies born this critically early. After all of that he pointed to my bible in my bedside table and he said, "but most importantly you keep your faith and we will be fine."  This man and I did not have the same religious beliefs but we had the same spiritual beliefs. We knew with all of this doctor's  knowledge and expertise meant nothing without our belief in something bigger than us. That something for me is a God that sent his only son Jesus Christ to live among us and to die so we may live and be promised an eternal life.

Jennas time in the NICU was a spiritual journey for all of us, both Dr. Bedi's family and ours..  The nurses and all of the specialist who visited were aware Jenna' s journey was special and she was amiracle. Born at just 21.5 weeks and barely 800gms she should not have lived. In the state of Texas, as a matter of fact was not considered viable.  But here she was being prayed for and prayed over by people of all religions, bathed in Holy Water from the Holy Land by a bishop in the Methodist church, treated by a staff of varied denominations; all done believing in God.  This miracle changed many lives especially our families. And we got a tremendous gifts thanks to the spirituality of so many.

The nursing professor and student nurse left thanking us for sharing our story. She agreed it was great example of how important spiritual health is in medicine. I know it plays a role so important that even given the best medicine in the world for an illness without spiritual medicine you will not ever fully recover.

 “ ‘Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security. (‭Jeremiah‬ ‭33‬:‭6‬ NIV)

Dear God, thank you so much for answered prayers and especially Richards voice. Thank you for the medical staff who is caring for him and their belief in You.   We look forward to what the coming days will bring and know You are leading us through them. In Your name, Amen.

God Can Handle Our Anger

So.... The saga continues!  Last time I wrote we had gotten the results of the CT scan and I had begun to give Richard injections twice a day. The blood thinner does a job on your body. His belly bruised and anywhere else on his body that he bumped, scratched or looked at the wrong way.

Today, we are in a hospital room at CLRH. We came in last night because R was peeing blood. He had complained earlier in the day that he was urinating a lot and his feet and ankles were swollen. So, I gave him one of his diuretics that had been stopped when he got dehydrated. About 5:30 he told me about the blood and we called the doc who sent us to the ER.  WHAT A NIGHT! First, the doc decided his bladder needed to be flushed. So. a catheter was put in, blood was drawn, EKG done and an antibiotic was given. The nurse was very concerned with the size of of the catheter. You nurses out there will understand and men will empathize. A size 22 or 20 was available and the nurse felt that was too big. So the entire hospital went in search for a smaller one. It was to be used with what they called a Y. This is so fluid goes in at the same time fluid goes out. They found a size 16 deep in a closet in the OR.

During the night the tube going "out" got clogged. Thank goodness for Amaya the charge nurses quick thinking. She knew just what to do but unfortunately the blood clots continued to clog the catheter. When the nurse came in this morning she got in touch with the urologist who ordered a size 22 catheter without the continual flow saline. No Y anymore and the large catheter would flush out the clots without any pain. I had prayed all night he would get relief. R at one point said Mary ask God to help me please!  I'm so thankful that the morning came, the nurse assigned to R was able to get in touch with the urologist and called until she got orders. Thanks for answered prayers.

Dr McClure came in and ordered leg ultrasounds so we can find if there are clots in his legs causing
the swelling and the clot in the lung. Dr. Slusky came in to get all of meds restarted and ordered an EKG. we are waiting on Dr Aquino and a urologist we will add to our list of doctors.

Speaking of Dr Slusky... Last week we did see Dr. Castillo at TX ENT. He felt the reason R can't talk is because of a paralyzed vocal chord. He sent us to a voice specialist downtown who we saw the next day. Dr Mary Beaver took some great pictures of his vocal chords. His right chord has a polyp and is paralyzed. She would like to do a day surgery to inject a substance in that chord to close it and then he should be able to speak again. But... He has to get cardiac clearance from Dr. Slusky. We saw him last Thursday and he did not like the speed R's heart was beating. So he said he would have to have a chemical stress test which I do not want him to have to do.  Let's just say Dr Slusky and I do
not agree and his degree trumped mine.

So here we are in another hospital room. The TV is on and R is finally sleeping and quietly snoring.


Thank you God for rest. You know R has been questioning if this is all worth it.  I spoke to Dr McClure about it this morning and she said that is a reasonable question, although the CT scan did show the chemo is working to improve the cancer. All I know is my husband is miserable. He hates this. He keeps saying his sorry he is putting the kids and I through this. I am sorry he is the one going through it. I would take the pain from him in a heartbeat.

Last week as we sat in the truck drinking our Sonic tea in between appointments, we talked about how angry R is.  He is so angry his whole body tenses any time something doesn't go the way he planned. I mean little things as well as the big medical issues. So we talked again about releasing the anger and giving it to God. Anger is such a poison to your body I'm concerned the angerier he gets
the harder it will be for the meds to work. We talked about being angry at God. R has been angry with
him for years and years. You see all three of his sisters died of cancer. He has seen all three go
through what he is now. He feels God took them from him. And now he blames God for his cancer
We have discussed so many times God's love for us and without His love we would not get through every crisis.  We also need Him to hear how we feel so that He is able to interveneIi. God can handle our anger.

The past 16 hours I haven't seen the anger like I did last week. And when R asked me to pray last night night that is a huge step in healing. Please dear Lord continue to take Richards pain, listen to his pleas , soften his heart and help him release the anger and feel your love. Thank you for the medical staff and their knowledge in helping to fight this awful disease
Psalm E8:21-22
Lord, do not forsake me;
    do not be far from me, my God.
22 Come quickly to help me,
    my Lord and my Savior.

#cancersucks 

BUT...

Lets see.  Where did I leave off? Oh yeah we had just found out about the lung cancer.  That's right on 1/23/2015--Richard's 66th birthday we found out he has lung cancer.  Since then there was a biopsy done and information given on what extensive small cell lung cancer is.  Richard has had the 6 radiation treatments which have helped with the pain in his back and side.  He has completed the 2nd round of chemotherapy which has been very hard on him.

During this last round of chemo he has lost his voice completely.  Years ago Richard had laryngeal cancer.  Stage #1, Class #1 t hey told us.  He did 21 radiation treatments and for 25 years his voice has been raspy but not recurrence of that cancer.  Now he can't talk at all.  It is very frustrating for him.  Those that know him know he loves to talk, he is a very social person and loves his job because he is on the phone with people all day.  This set back, I think, has the biggest impact on him.  When he was able to make calls and talk to his buddies he was able to stay positive.  Now I answer his phones and talk for him.  He hates that!

Last week we had a visit with Dr. McClure.  She has referred him to an  ENT to check his vocal chords and she ordered a CT Scan to look at the progress.  She also decided to give him an additional week's rest before his next round of chemo.  She also decided to change one of the meds so that maybe his side effects will lessen.  So, today he had his CT Scan.  The nurse just called and said the cancer has responded to the chemo which is very good news. BUT... You knew that was coming right? He now has a blood clot in his long.  She says its common with chemo patients. 

Twice a day until his next appointment with Dr. McClure he will get an injection in his belly.  The med is a blood thinner.  And, guess who gets to give it? Yeah--me.  I give myself injections and it does not bother me in the least.  Richard hates needles, shots, IVs, whatever has to be stuck into him he does not like.  Now, I get to give him two injections a day. I need prayers because I know he will not hold still for this.  It has to be done.  Richard looks like this as a setback.

Its hard to be thankful when you are facing another issue.  I want to yell "THANK YOU LORD!" and the other part of me just wants to break down and cry for him.  I don't know what would be worse for him.  Me giving him shots in the belly is probably one of those things he never dreamed would happen.  But its here and we will do it.  Richard will continue this fight as much as he hates it and as much as the kids and I dread it for him.

1 Peter 1:6

In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.

 Thank you, God for this good news.  Keep Richard in Your arms as  he faces this next setback while he is being treated for this horrible disease.  Comfort him and allow him to see the positives in the small things as we know this is the greatest challenge we have ever known. 

Mary

Living Life with the Latulippes: How this began...part 1

Living Life with the Latulippes: How this began...part 1: Good Morning on this most beautiful day in southeast Texas.  The sun is out for the first time in many days and it is perfect.  The windows ...

How this began...part 1

Good Morning on this most beautiful day in southeast Texas.  The sun is out for the first time in many days and it is perfect.  The windows are open to bring fresh air into a house that has been closed off to the outside world for way too long. 

Many have asked how we know Richard was sick.  Well, we didnt.  Not until he was complaining of severe pain on his right side.  On November 17, 2014 we attended my cousin's sons wedding in Austin.  We were at a venue that was in Austin.  It was rather rocky.  The party had moved outdoors for the couple's farewell with thousands of bubbles.  I was blowing bubbles when my cousin, Elizabeth said, "Mary, Richard fell." I turned around and he had fallen and several of the men were helping him up.  The next morning he didnt complain of any pain and said he felt fine.  In mid December he was at work and went to pick up something and he felt something pull in his back.  A few weeks later, during the Christmas holidays,  the pain was still there so he went to see his PCP, Dr. Aquino.  He took x-rays and said there was inflammation in the fascia between the ribs and spine.  So he prescribed a pain medicine and a anti-inflammatory. And said he should be better in three days.  We didnt question it because it seemed reasonable with what had happened in the last month or so. 

On January 22, 2015: There was a horrific storm.  Driving was awful  Rain and thunder and lightening were all around us.  Richard called and said he was driving home and for me to get the truck ready to go he needed to go to the ER.  I paniced because he was driving, in pain and in a storm on the beltway.  I told him to pull over and I would come to him.  He didnt want to wait and said he would be home in 10-15 minutes.  30 minutes later he pulled in the driveway. By the way he passed the ER on the way home.  Isn't it strange the way the brain works when you are in pain? I got him in the truck and we went back to the ER in this horrible storm.  They got us in right away and scooted us off to a bed in the hallway because on this horrific day in the middle of the afternoon CLRC hospital's ER was at capacity.  A doctor came to us shortly and order a CT scan.  I was sure he was having appendicitis or his gall bladder was inflammed.  They got him all checked in while we waited on the scan results.  A little while later the doc came back to tell us his appendix and gall bladder were fine but that he had lesions in his abdomen.  I had never heard that term used for anything on the inside of the body so I asked him to explain and he simply said cancer.  We couldnt believe it.

Richard was admitted for a full cancer work up and referred to Dr. Suanne McClure with TX Oncology by his PCP.  Within the next 12 hours he gave loads of blood, more scans were done, a biopsy done and an inital diagnosis of stage 3 lung cancer was given.  The biopsy would be back in a few days and we would go to Dr. McClures office for that.  In the meantime go home with pain meds and relax. We didnt panic but decided we would get a second opinion at MD Anderson after we met with McClure.  I went online to MDA's webpage and started that process. 

When we met with McClure she was great. Educated us on the different types of lung cancer, prognosis, general treatments for lung cancer and answered any and all questions we had.  She told us the biopsy and all the tests revealed EXTENSIVE SMALL CELL CARCINOMA IN THE LUNG. A tumor about 3/4" in diameter was in the upper right lung.  It had metastasized into the ribs and pleura of the lungs.  Richards worst pain was in the upper right back where Dr. Aquino had seen the inflammation two weeks prior.  She said she believed that was were the majority of the lesions were and it had housed in those bones which was causing the pain.  Her recommendations were to start chemo 3 days a week every 3 weeks the following week.  And a radiation referral to Dr. Walker at TX Oncology.  We told her we were going for a second opinion and she said we could do that but impressed on us it needed to be soon because this type of cancer is very aggressive and would not slow until treatments began.  The most heart breaking opinion she gave us was Richard's prognosis. 3 month survival rate without treatment and 6-12 months with treatment was the average.  I had been doing research on stage 3 lung cancer.  This is very close to what I had read about small cell lung cancer.  5 year survival rate is less than 1%. 

So we went to our appointment with MDA and met with a young doctor who we really liked.  She told us almost verbatim what Dr. McClure had told us.  When we told her we would be staying with Dr. McClure as a result of them being on the same page she said Dr. McClure was very well respected in the field and we would be in great hands.  She also said MDA's doors were always open. 

To be continued...

Faith at times of adversity

Precious Lord, Son of the Living Father, I give you thanks for all the beauty of the world which surrounds me. I confess that the comfort of my home and the insulated world in which I live makes it so easy to miss how much I need you. Help me to believe in you in the most difficult of times, as well as the most comfortable of times in my life. Help me to remain focused on you in all circumstances. And when the stones of adversity fall on and around me, remind me that these stones may be used to build the road upon which faith walks to you.

 

 

This prayer was on the LCUMC.org website and Lenten calendar for 3/2/15.    My friend Jane is not improving and the doctors have done everything they know how.  This prayer came to mind when I heard the news this morning. Please keep her in your prayers.

Chemo is Awful

This morning we find ourselves at the ER. Last week Richards electrolytes were low and his creatinine was vey high. This means he must drink a lot. His kidneys are at risk when these numbers show up in the blood work. This morning I went to my substitute job and before I had been at work 2 hours when he called. "Come home." He said. So that's what I did. Symptoms of dehydration are a dry mouth, head ache, and weakness. It becomes serious if you start running a temperature, can't urinate or have diarrhea. He had diarrhea but didn't have a temp and was still urinating but the doctor thought with his bloodwork from last week we better come to the ER

Chemo is awful. Richard is getting 2 different drugs over a 3 day period every 3 weeks. He will do this for 6 rounds. We just finished round #2. Both times he has felt like a truck ran over him. Last time he was able to eat and drink lots of water. This time either has been difficult which is why he is now dehydrated. We are told this happens during chemo. I'm beginning to hate all "C" words. Cancer and chemo are at the top of my list. #cancersux #chemosux 

His childhood friend, Vince is in town. He stayed at the house all day yesterday. The two of them told Joey all the stories of their shenanigans while growing up on Long Island. They laughed a lot. It was great to see that becUse he hasn't laughed in a while. Vince came to the hospital when I called. He sits in the waiting room waiting to hear if his friend is ok. I'm so glad he's here. 

Things could be so much worse. My heart is hurting for Andrew Cashner and his family. We met the Cashners when Joey played ball at Angelina Community College. Andrew was and still is an amazing pitcher. He was a sophomore. Joey and the other freshman catcher, Bryan Mallet, got broken into college catching by Andrew He took them under his wing and was a great role model. Andrews family took Joey to his first rodeo that wasn't held at NRG in Houston. Mrs C (Jane) has beaten breast cancer. The past 6 months she has been fighting against leukemia. This past weekend she has had to face many complications from a fall where she twisted her ankle.  Their family is on my heart and I pray for Jane daily

So many people have to fight this disease and with all the medical advances today they are still using drugs that cause so many problems. It is so hard to watch loved ones going through this. I know I want Richard to fight but it's so hard to watch. It makes me question if he should go on. And then I question myself because I know it is the only thing that will allow his body to heal so we can be together longer. Is this the life we were intended?  Jenna says "that's life" whenever something doesn't go her way. It was something her teacher taught her when she would get upset. I have to remind myself (I cant recall where I heard this) that God did not promise us a great life he promised us  eternity because Jesus died on the cross. How awesome is that to look forward to? An eternity where we won't have to have cancer or chemo.

Well, the large bag of saline and electrolytes is almost empty and he is already feeling better. Asking if he can have ice pops so I guess I will be stopping at the store. Doc just came in and is sending him home with a new med for nausea and orders to drink.

Who will fight this fight for you, and beside you when you are in the midst of all the side effects? Our Lord God is the only one we can trust to take this fight for us when we are tired, sick, dehydrated and having complications. Exodus 14: “14The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

Dear Lord thank you for taking this fight and facing the cancer and chemo for Richard and Jane and all the others who are doing the same. Help us to remember we each face an eternity without disease because you gave us your wonderful Son. InYour love, Amen 

Where have the tears gone?

I'm wondering why I picked now to start my blog. I have had a great life but it has been filled with many tragedies. The latest tragedy is my husband, Richard,  being diagnosed with extensive small cell carcinoma. We've known for a little over a month. We found out his diagnosis on his birthday, January 23rd. I will talk more about that later.

Today I want to talk about how our friends and families are taking the news. I'm at the hair salon this morning. Get my roots done so I have time to write. Sylvia is my hair stylist. I have known her for about 30 years. My husband introduced her to me. She reminds him of his older sister. He and Sylvia have always had a strong connection. I had not told Sylvia about his diagnosis. I guess I was struggling with how to do that. Yesterday a mutual friend called to tell her he was coming in and he told her. I felt horrible that I had not called her.

So today when I walked in for my monthly haircut as soon as Sylvia saw me the tears started. As we talked her tears continued to flow. But I didn't cry. I haven't been able to cry through any of this. As we tell people they tear up and cry and I cant. I find myself asking God why?  Am I being hard? Cold? Or am I not ready to accept or believe that this is happening? My strong, handsome husband is sick and I busy myself with doing our daily activites and I don't cry.


Richard hasn't cried in front of me either. Maybe if we start crying we won't be able to stop. Maybe God has taken this burden from us. I know this because we asked him to. Is that why I don't cry?  Because  Gods got Richard in his arms?

Dear Lord I pray that when I  cry you will wipe my tears and comfort me.

2 Samuel 22:7

“In my distress I called to the Lord; I called out to my God. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came to his ears.