Good news! And praise God! Jenna will be beginning to attend a day hab this week three days a week. A day hab is a facility with caring staff who lead the clients through a day of activities very similar to a day care. On the other two days someone from the facility will come to our home and teach/train Jenna in independent living skills. She is beyond excited and if I have heard her once I have heard her a thousand times say, "I'm so excited I can't wait to start dayhab." She even told the checker and sacker at Krogers today. She is so happy and contented with the smallest adventures. We toured the facility last week and there were several kids (I call them kids because I knew them when they were at Creek or growing up) who Jenna knew or I recognized from Creek. I felt it was a happy place and Jenna was ready to start that afternoon. I have to tell a quick story. One of the young me recognized me right away and said, "Ms. Latulippe, Ms. Latulippe it has been a long time since I have seen you." I said it had and asked, "When did you graduate from Creek?" He said, "2008." I told him I recognized him and was happy to see him. He said,"No I don't think you knew me. I got my braces off!" I started laughing and told him right away "you sure did, I guess I didn't recognize you right away." Jenna and I got many hugs and saw so many happy faces; we are hoping this is a good transition.I am hoping this will be good for her and she will not mind living at home as much. It will give us a break from each other and give me an opportunity to do some administrative substituting when the opportunity arises. This is truly answered prayers and I am so thankful.
Four months have come and gone and I can say things have gotten easier, I don't cry every day anymore but I'm still so lonely. I would love to hear him yell at me about something I'm doing that he didn't agree with. Every day I have memories that flood in at the strangest of times. Someone will say something or I'll hear a song on the radio and there it is right in my face. Little League Baseball World Series, Football season starting, and Labor Day weekend bring back such great memories. It was a great time of year for our family. How will we ever be able to enjoy these things again without sadness? People say it will happen and I am sure it will. Grief is just so all enveloping and hard.
Day 49 of the Grief Share daily email I receive says "When you need God's grace the most, God will bless you with a special dynamic grace to get you through." It goes on to say to "...and if you need specific grace, ask Him for it. Through Jesus, you can find something to rejoice about in suffering."
I feel Pastor Joel has been talking directly to me the last few weeks. We are studying Joseph and his journeys. He was a great man who loved God and in every horrible thing that happened Joseph stayed focused on Him. Because of that focus his life was fulfilled even in the midst of crisis. Last week, Pastor Joel said, (and I am paraphrasing) "with faith and hope we step to the future God has laid out for us and will help us to become the person HE would have us to be." How do I know I am going in the direction God wants me to go? Pastor Joel also said "Being so sure that things will turn out okay equals faith." So I am putting all of my faith in the Lord and letting him lead me where I need to be. I am praying to be more like Joseph and find grace through the suffering.
Romans 5:1-3
Dear Lord, I pray that you will give me grace to find the beauty in everyday, especially those days where loneliness and sadness fill me. Lead my feet where you want me to go and open my eyes to see a future filled with the person you want me to be. Amen
